Trust Your Gut. Always.

Well, on day six of the waiting game, my doctor emailed me:

Your biopsy came back, and it is Basal Cell Carcinoma. I am going to refer you to the MOHS Clinic so they can take care of that for you.

Doctor

Have you ever heard bad news before and it was literally like being punched in the gut? Yeah, it was like that.

I have skin cancer.

There are three common skin cancers. In order, they are:

  1. Melanoma – Known to be fatal if not caught early
  2. Squamous Cell Carcinoma – spreads quickly; in rare cases, can be fatal
  3. Basal Cell Carcinoma – Almost never fatal; slow growing; rarely spreads

Of the three, I am very lucky it is Basal Cell Carcinoma. Thank God.

So now, here I am. I am currently waiting to hear from the MOHS clinic to get the party started.

Let me be clear. I am not a vain person. I am not a beauty queen. I am a 45-year-old woman with average looks, on the chunky side, I dress very plain, and I rarely wear makeup other than moisturizer. I would not consider myself ugly, but let’s face it, I am not going to win any beauty contests. I like tacos WAY too much to starve myself for the bikini segment.

With that being said, I don’t want to see my face carved up. I am familiar with my face. It’s like an old friend. I have been staring back at it for 45 years now. I have earned every one of those wrinkles, every imperfection. It makes me….me. To think that it could look vastly different for a significant amount of time is already making me self-conscious. Just having this biopsy scab on the side of my nose makes me self-conscious now. And I am fully aware that this carcinoma is in a tough spot of the nose because it involves the crease. That is where it gets tricky because they may need replacement cartilage if it extends into the outer portion of the nostril. I read they can take it from my ear. Like Mike Tyson. That’s kinda cool.

But, my husband brought up some very good points:

  1. I need to be grateful that Basal Cell Carcinoma is NOT fatal.
  2. It is slow growing.
  3. There is a very real chance that I may have just one stage of MOHS surgery and be done.
  4. I need to think positive.
  5. Screw what other people think.

I am a lucky woman to have such a positive, uplifting spouse. And he promised he will still love me even if I look like Sloth from the Goonies when this is all over. That’s true love right there.

And so I wait.

Tick tock said the clock…

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